Standards for a Younger BrotherWhen Away from Home45
xiōngdàoyǒu dìdàogōng xiōngdìmù xiàozàizhōng
兄道友 弟道恭 兄弟睦 孝在中
If I am the older sibling, I will befriend the younger ones. If I am the younger sibling, I will respect and love the older ones. Only when I can maintain harmonious relationships with my siblings am I being dutiful to my parents.46
45 These standards also apply to a younger brother when he is at home.
46 Parents are happy when their children get along with each other. This is one way children can show they are dutiful to their parents.父母知道儿女能和睦相处一定会很高兴，这也是儿女们尽孝道的一种方式。
cáiwùqīng yuànhéshēng yányǔrěn fènzìmǐn
财物轻 怨何生 言语忍 忿自泯
When I value my familial ties more than property and belongings, no resentment will come between me and my siblings. When I am careful with words and hold back hurtful comments, my feelings of anger naturally die out.
huòyǐnshí huòzuòzǒu zhǎngzhěxiān yòuzhěhòu
或饮食 或坐走 长者先 幼者后
Whether I am drinking, eating, walking, or sitting, I will let the elders go first; the younger ones should follow.
zhǎnghūrén jídàijiào rénbùzài jǐjídào
长呼人 即代叫 人不在 己即到
When an elder is asking for someone, I will get that person for him right away. If I cannot find that person, I will immediately report back, and put myself at the elder’s service instead.
chēngzūnzhǎng wùhūmíng duìzūnzhǎng wùxiànnéng
称尊长 勿呼名 对尊长 勿见能
When I address an elder, I should not call him by his given name.47 This is in accord with ancient Chinese etiquette. In front of an elder, I will never show off.
47 In ancient China, a male person had at least two names. The first name was the “given name”, which was given to him by his parents when he was born. A second name was given to him by his friends when he reached the age of 20, at a “Ceremony of the Hat” given in his honor to announce his coming-of-age. After that only his parents called him by his “given name”. Out of respect, everyone else, including the emperor, could only call him by his second name. The only exception was if he committed a crime. During sentencing, he would be called by his “given name”.
lùyùzhǎng jíqūyī zhǎngwúyán tuìgōnglì
路遇长 疾趋揖 长无言 退恭立
If I meet an elder I know on the street, I will promptly clasp my hands and greet him with a bow. If he does not speak to me, I will step back and respectfully stand aside.
qíxiàmǎ chéngxiàjū guòyóudài bǎibùyú
骑下马 乘下车 过犹待 百步余
Should I be riding a horse48 and spot an elder I know walking, I will dismount and pay respect to the elder. If I am riding in a carriage49, I will stop, get out of the carriage, and ask if I can give the elder a ride. If I meet an elder passing by, I will stand aside and wait respectfully. I will not leave until the elder disappears from my sight.
48 In ancient China, most people used horses or carriages as their means of transportation. 中国古时候老百姓用马或马车作为交通工具。
49 See footnote 48. 请参考批注48。
zhǎngzhělì yòuwùzuò zhǎngzhězuò mìngnǎizuò
长者立 幼勿坐 长者坐 命乃坐
When an elder is standing, I will not sit. After an elder sits down, I sit only when I am told to do so.
zūnzhǎngqián shēngyàodī dībùwén quèfēiyí
尊长前 声要低 低不闻 却非宜
Before an elder, I will speak softly. But if my voice is too low and hard to hear, it is not appropriate.
jìnbìqū tuìbìchí wènqǐduì shìwùyí
进必趋 退必迟 问起对 视勿移
When meeting an elder, I will walk briskly towards him; when leaving, I will not exit in haste. When answering a question, I will look at the person who is asking me the question.
shìzhūfù rúshìfù shìzhūxiōng rúshìxiōng
事诸父 如事父 事诸兄 如事兄
I will serve my uncles as if I am serving my parents.50 I will treat my cousins as if they are my own siblings.51